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What is it about LinkedIn that makes former colleagues that you had terrible relationships with think it’s ok to pretend to be your buddy? I’m not for holding grudges in normal life. There are very few people who will remain on my permanent, “sorry, I just can’t help you” shit list for things that happen in my outside life. But at work? Where I’m trying to make money, secure a future for myself and the people I care about? I seem to be ok with holding grudges there.

I was hired to work as a designer some years ago by a small development shop. The person who hired me, “B”, was a really great manager, had a good eye for talent and capabilities, and is still a friend and contact. Soon after I arrived, “A” worked his way up the ranks and started sharking everyone. He convinced the company owners—who were disastrous human beings also—to fire B and let him take over. Now “A” is my manager, and we’re drowning in work. He has no idea how to be a PM, everything is late, clients are furious and running the opposite direction. He comes to me, a UX designer, and asks me to start taking over heavy backend development of a project; I’m not comfortable with it, it’s over my head. The project is a disaster, and just gets worse. It makes the rounds in the department, everyone who touches is has the same luck. The company puts it to “A” thusly: figure out how to make the money you’ve lost us reappear or find a new job. So, what does he do? He begins firing the entire development staff for his own management mistakes. Oldest trick in the book.

Best part? He decided to step down and go back to his old position in the company. He’s training a replacement. After two days on the job, he actually tries to get his replacement to do my firing. Then he convinces the company to try and contest unemployment. Classy.

Wait, that’s not the best part. The best part was when he told me that me being prepared to leave work on a moment’s notice in case of the birth of my daughter was cramping his ability to plan projects, so he was going to give me the name of a doctor who could induce so I could “get it over with” and let him plan again.

So, yeah. Total dick.

Yesterday he sends me a LinkedIn invite. It might as well say, “Hey, remember when I fired you to save my own neck a week before your daughter was born, then didn’t even keep the position I’d fired three devs over? All is forgotten! Let’s be pals!”

Is anyone really this unaware of themselves? Please go die.

My only regret is that when I hit the decline button in LinkedIn it doesn’t deliver a tiny electric shock to the person sending the invite.